Never Split The Difference
Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It
by Chris Voss
“Chris Voss’s Never Split the Difference is a riveting, indispensable guide to the new rules of persuasion.”
“This is the bible for negotiation in the real world.”
"Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It" is a book written by Chris Voss, a former FBI hostage negotiator. The book is a guide to the art and science of negotiation and provides practical strategies for achieving success in high-stakes situations.
Voss starts by emphasizing the importance of understanding the mindset of the person you are negotiating with. He argues that traditional negotiation techniques, such as compromising and finding common ground, are not effective in high-stakes situations. Instead, he suggests using empathy to understand the other person's perspective and building a rapport with them. He also stresses the importance of active listening and mirroring the other person's language and emotions to build trust.
One of the key strategies Voss introduces is the concept of "labeling," which involves acknowledging and naming the other person's emotions. He argues that this helps to reduce tension and defuse potentially hostile situations. He also introduces the idea of "accusation audits," which involve identifying and addressing the underlying concerns and complaints of the other person.
Voss also provides a number of specific tactics for handling difficult situations, such as how to handle a "no," how to make "mirror" offers, how to create "tactical empathy" and how to handle "verbal judo." He also provides guidance on how to handle difficult people, such as bullies and liars, and how to negotiate in high-pressure situations.
One of the most important concepts in the book is the idea of "calibrated questions." Voss argues that the key to effective negotiation is to ask open-ended questions that allow the other person to share information and reveal their true motivations. He also stresses the importance of being able to read body language and identify verbal cues to understand what the other person is truly thinking and feeling.
Another important concept in the book is the idea of "anchoring." Voss explains how to use the first offer as an anchor to create an advantage in negotiations. He also explains how to use "good cop, bad cop" tactics and how to create "the illusion of control."
Voss also provides guidance on how to handle negotiations in a virtual setting, such as over the phone or via email, and provides tips on how to be effective in these contexts.
Throughout the book, Voss shares stories from his time as a hostage negotiator, providing examples of how the techniques he suggests can be applied in real-world situations. He also includes a number of exercises and case studies to help readers practice and apply the concepts introduced in the book.
Overall, "Never Split the Difference" provides a comprehensive and practical guide to the art and science of negotiation. It offers a wealth of strategies and techniques for achieving success in high-stakes situations, making it an invaluable resource for anyone looking to improve their negotiation skills.
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